What to do when your child is diagnosed with cancer

A peer-to-parent guide for the first days, weeks and months

If you’ve just heard the words no parent ever wants to hear, you’re likely reeling. Fear, disbelief, shock, logistics, information overload – it hits all at once. Every family’s experience is different, but there are practical things parents told us helped them survive those first days and weeks.

Below you’ll find guidance drawn from lived experience from some of our Camp Quality parents. Wherever we’ve shared individual situations, they’re simply examples to help you picture how it can look, not instructions or expectations. There’s no ‘right way’ to cope. It’s different for everyone – just use whatever feels helpful.

The first few weeks:
What helps right now

In the early weeks after diagnosis, your life may shrink to a hospital room, a treatment schedule or a waiting chair beside a bed. Decisions pile up fast. Below are some suggestions that may make the load lighter.

Write everything down
Stress fogs memory. Names, medications, questions, next steps – capturing them in one notebook or notes app helps anchor your thinking and reduces panic later. One parent said they wrote absolutely everything in a single notebook, so they didn’t have to rely on memory when exhausted.

Ask early about practical supports
Social workers and major paediatric cancer support organisations can connect you with grants, parking help, counselling, meal services and respite. There are even specialised cancer navigators that can help using Centrelink. Families told us they wished they’d asked sooner because assistance exists but isn’t always offered without prompting.

Nominate one communication method
Updating extended family and friends repeatedly can drain all remaining energy. Some families chose one contact person. Others set up a group text. Reducing the emotional repetition protects your energy for your child.

Accept specific offers of help
If someone asks, “Let me know if you need anything,” that’s too vague. If they say, “Can I do school pick-up Tuesday?” say yes. One parent told us hot meals helped early, but later groceries and vouchers were more practical. The key is accepting help without guilt.

Keep a go-bag ready
Chargers, snacks, toiletries, a warm layer, favourite toy/book, medication list. Hospitals run long and admissions can happen suddenly. Several parents said they were admitted unexpectedly after a routine appointment, having supplies ready removed panic from the scramble.

Clarify the day’s plan before leaving
A simple question – “What needs to happen before we go home today?” – brings clarity when everything feels uncertain. Parents found that asking calmly reduced surprises later.

Sleep whenever you can
Even 20 minutes helps your ability to reason. Parents described closing their eyes while a relative folded laundry or a friend sat quietly in the room. Rest becomes a resource.

The next few months:
routines that keep you going

Once the immediate shock settles (slightly), families often fall into rhythms that help them cope. These aren’t about perfection or productivity – they’re survival routines that create some stability.

Create tiny systems
A bag by the door. A whiteboard for medication times and temperatures. A dedicated surface for paperwork. These shave minutes from chaos and return a sense of control.

Set gentle boundaries for visitors
Texts first. Short visits only. Masks if anyone is unwell. One parent told us they learned to say, “Thanks for thinking of us. This isn’t a good week for visitors. A message means a lot.” You’re not letting people down. You’re protecting your family’s energy.

Talk to school early
You don’t need a detailed plan. Just let them know what communication you prefer, when attendance might be possible, and what flexibility you’ll need. One family kept expectations deliberately light: “We’ll come when we can. We appreciate understanding.”

Be honest with work about capacity
Remote work, flexible hours, unpaid leave – employers often offer more than families expect, especially in the early phase. One parent worked from a hospital bed, grateful for the distraction and income stability.

Keep up some exercise
Taking care of your physical wellbeing will help you manage your mental wellbeing. Even walk around the block or some stretches will help. Ask a friend or relative to mind the kids so you can get some time to move your body and get some endorphins flowing, but don’t sweat it if you can’t keep up with your regular fitness routine. Be easy on yourself.

Plan intentionally for siblings
Rides, homework, emotional check-ins and one-on-one time need organisation. Some parents asked friends to take siblings to sport or pack lunches. Knowing siblings were cared for eased guilt.

Build small comforts into hospital stays
Parents frequently mentioned making the bed, setting up a play mat, keeping nappies organised, washing cot sheets themselves after vomiting episodes, using simple skincare, or visiting the shop for a small routine treat. These minor rituals restored agency when everything else felt out of control.

Let go of expectations
Many families shared how unpredictable treatment timelines were. A routine appointment could turn into a multi-day admission. One parent described adopting a mindset of “we get there when we get there,” particularly around morning school arrivals. Removing expectations eased stress.

What to avoid to help preserve your energy

Equally important is what to stop holding yourself responsible for. Pressure steals the energy you need for your child and yourself.

Don’t try to update everyone constantly
Choose one channel or a single weekly text. You’re allowed to not respond. Your focus is your child and immediate family.

Don’t Google late into the night
Endless searching can spiral fear. Instead, write questions in a list to raise with your clinical team in daylight hours.

Don’t accept every visit
Well-meaning people can unintentionally drain you. Declining visits isn’t selfish; it protects your family. Short check-ins by text are often enough.

Don’t compare your child’s experience to others
Families said comparisons – especially uninvited advice – made things harder. Another parent’s story doesn’t predict yours.

Don’t feel guilty asking for help
People want to do something tangible. Give them one specific task: Groceries, school run, meal, dog walk, mowing the lawn.

Don’t force battles that don’t need fighting
Several parents spoke about choosing which fights mattered. Medications might take time. School arrival might be late. Sticking rigidly to pre-diagnosis routines creates unnecessary strain.

Don’t aim for a perfect household
Gardens become wild, laundry piles up, fitness regimens vanish. People will understand. Everyone looks like a ‘hot mess’ in this phase.

Phrases you can use in the moment
These simple phrases came from parents who found themselves repeating boundaries and requests. Copy them if they help.

• “We’re using a group text to share updates. We may not reply, but your messages help.”
• “Please text before visiting so we can check how today is going.”
• “Short visits only, and masks if anyone has symptoms – thanks for understanding.”
• “If you’re doing a grocery run, milk and fruit would really help.”
• “Could we set a simple plan for school attendance and light homework only when our child feels up to it?”
• “I may need short-notice leave on treatment days. Can we review arrangements fortnightly?”

Take-home messages

You don’t have to do everything. Just the next thing. The rest can wait.

Develop routines that ease the load.

Look for moments of calm and hold on.

The early days after diagnosis are overwhelming, but you’re not alone. Other parents have stood where you’re now standing.